Nobody Knows What I Do Until I Don't Do It

     I stood in my kitchen going through the day’s post. There was only one letter for me; a brown envelope with the Dept. of Education logo over the stamp.  Intrigued I ripped it open to find the transcript of my Leaving Cert results.   I had recently started a new job and during the interview I admitted that I couldn’t remember my exact results.  My new employer told me to write away for the transcript.   

     I smiled as I thought back to 1982 and my final days at school.  My 18 year old son walked into the kitchen.  I didn’t hear him come in.  Curious to see what had me so engrossed he peeked quietly over my shoulder.  He laughed in disbelief.

“I’m not impressed,” he said

“Don’t worry, nobody else is either,” I said smiling at him and quickly folded the letter back into its envelope.

“Can I see?” he asked.  I handed over the envelope and set about getting the dinner ready.

After scrutinising the letter for some minutes, he said, “So how many points did you get?”

“None.”

“But that’s impossible.  You can’t pass AND get no points.”

“I managed.  Anyway, it was a different system back then.”

“That’s no excuse.”

Just then my other two sons, aged 15 and 12 walked into the kitchen. 

“Mum got no points in her Leaving Cert,” said son aged 18, “can you believe that?”

Son aged 12 said, “What are points?”  I explained the points system to him.  When I finished, there was a short pause after which son aged 15 smiled and said, “Well that certainly takes the pressure off us then.”

A few minutes later, Son aged 12 asked, “So, how did you get Dad then?” 

“What do you mean ‘get’ him?”

“Dad went to college, you didn’t. Dad has a proper job, you don’t.”

“First of all, I didn’t ‘get’ him.  I didn’t set out to trap him like a butterfly in a net.”

“It’s really hard to catch butterflies.”

“You know what I mean.  I didn’t get him, I didn’t set out to get him.  It is a relationship.  You meet someone, you find you like each other and it grows from there.” 

“Yeah, well you got lucky.”

     I was disturbed by my sons’ attitude.   I told my husband but he didn’t see what all the fuss was about.  “Why don’t you tell them that it bothers you and tell them the contribution you do make,” he said.  But I didn’t see the point: either you value something or you don’t. 

     A few weeks later on a beautiful Sunday evening, I set out for Dingle to spend a week with my sister in her mobile home. 

I left the fridge empty.