Lockdown - This Little Piggy

I'm afraid to weigh myself.

Yesterday afternoon, I saw myself in my son's mirror and I'm a piggy.  I don't, as a rule, have mirrors in the house bar the essential face sized one in my bathroom.  My son however, has a full length one in his bedroom.  I went in there looking for the Happy Pear cookbook and came out depressed.  

I have a conspiracy theory that about 10 years ago all the clothing brands re-labelled their clothes down one size.  The old 12 became the new 10 just to make people feel better about their brand and buy them. It worked on me.    Even within the same shop, the sizing system is inconsistent: in Zara, I've tried on sizes 6 to 16 and they all fit the same.  

As for their mirrors, they're definitely fixed.     A few years ago, I cut through Debenhams in Mahonpoint on my way to Easons when I caught sight of myself in a mirror.  I stopped and went back for another look.  I looked svelte and downright petite.  I immediately felt elated and bounced on my way.  I checked my reflection again in a shop window but looked normal again.

Six months ago, I loved the video on YouTube of the school principal in China doing the shuffle with the entire school.   It's the coolest thing ever.  I found tutorials on shuffling on YouTube but gave up.  I felt awkward and lumpy.  Then, yesterday,  Pauline from my book club who's great for circulating uplifting messages, put up a video of a Chinese man who must be at least 70 doing the shuffle on the street with two tiny girls.  If he could do it then why not me?  

I searched YouTube for a tutorial and picked the first that came up.  It had 13 million views.  The man in the tutorial explained that the first and most important move when doing the shuffle is the 'Running Man'.  He demonstrated at normal speed and then did it slowly but I couldn't keep up.    

My sons joined me in the kitchen.  The Chinese man danced to 'Staying Alive' by the Bee Gees.  My background music was an outpouring of insults, "You're doing it all wrong, Mum!"  

"Then show me," I begged.  

"No way," they said.  

"What do you want to learn for anyway?" said son (20), "it's not like you'll be using it."

"It's a way of getting fit in a small space.  Anyway I like dancing."

Almost disheartened and on the point of giving up, I searched for another tutorial and found a girl with only 1.3 million views.  She also started with the Running Man but broke it down into four parts which helped.     I practised in the kitchen which has a tiled floor.  Although the girl wore runners, I stayed in socks to help my feet slide.  I wondered should I wear the Birkenstock look-a-likes I bought in Penneys last year.  They only cost six Euros but were lethal.  Their soles had no grip and slid across hard surfaces like wet glass.  Maybe later.

  

Son (22) advised me to keep my steps short as I kept losing balance.  That helped.  I also tended to lean forward as if willing my legs to move faster.   The girl in the tutorial said to keep the body-weight centred by staying upright.  That helped.  After several attempts of stop-starting, I managed to go a whole minute without falling over.  I even started to sweat.  I went to leave the kitchen.

  

Son (22) looked up from his phone, "Quitting already Mum?" 

"No, I need to put on a bra." 

It was Hubbie's turn to cook dinner so I moved my shuffling to the hall.  The girl in the tutorial went onto the next move but I stopped her there.  I want to get the Running Man right first.  The great thing is that you can do it anywhere at anytime: while you're waiting for the kettle to boil, on your way to the loo and you don't need much space.      

Lovely as the weather is, I don't always want to run outside.  Running at the moment feels like hauling sacks of coal up a hill.  So for now, this little piggy is staying at home.  

And how's your fabulous day going so far?

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