Accident Prone

     At the weekend, my son was playing football. He jumped up to clear the ball with his head but fell to the ground in agony. He said his spine was hurting him. The coach and I were afraid to move him at first but eventually he consented to being hauled to his feet.

     To be on the safe side, I decided to take him to the hospital. By the time, we got to the hospital, my son was moving his head freely and I knew that he was not paralysed. While we were waiting to be seen, a man came in, hugging his left arm closely to his body. He ‘ouched’ and ‘oohed’ his way to the reception area. Although he talked loudly, I could not hear the nature of his complaint.  I heard him yell at the receptionist, “It’s shite, just shite”.   Then it was our turn to see the doctor.

     The doctor reckoned that my son had no serious damage but to be on the safe side, she sent us upstairs for an x-ray. We took the lift to the 2nd floor and shared a couch with a Chinese man who was reading a newspaper. A few minutes went by when the lift doors opened and the man with the sore arm stepped out.  He sat on the couch on the far side of the Chinese man.

     I leaned forward, "What happened to you?” The man who was Scottish, told me that he was on his motorbike when he had gone around a corner, hit a wet patch and crashed to the ground on his left shoulder. “I’ve broken my leg three times," he said, "but that is nothing compared to the agony I’m experiencing now.   I’ve been on a boat where the boom smashed into my face.  I lost seven of my teeth but that is nothing to this pain.”

     The Chinese man hiding behind the newspaper giggled. The Scots man looked at him and said, “Do you not find that when you wear glasses, the rain gets on the lens and it's difficult to see?”

     “You can always wear contacts.”

      “Oh, I can’t, my eyes are that sensitive; it's agony for me to put anything near them.”

     At that moment, a Chinese nurse appeared at the doorway of a consultation room holding a file, “Robert Shite? We’re ready for you now.”