Swine Flu 2009

Over the Jazz weekend, my family including Granny headed down to Kinsale for lunch and an afternoon of jazz. Setting off from home, my ten year was his usual bickering self. Twenty five minutes later he climbed out of the car whinging and listless. We dismissed his moods to the fact that he came out the worst from a bloody battle with his older brother.
All through lunch he moaned about how tired he was and refused to eat. We thought he was just sulking. He pleaded to go home. Granny noted his red eyes and scolded him for staying up too late playing video games. He gave up and fell asleep in front of the band blasting Gershwin tunes.
At 4 o’clock I gave in and walked him back to the car where he fell asleep again on my lap for 40 minutes. Back home, his temperature soared and I put him to bed with Calpol. He slept solid right through to 6 am at which time he moaned he had a head ache and was still very hot. It was then I realised he was actually sick. I rang the doctor and left a message to make an appointment. My 15 year old had been complaining about a rash on his stomach for the past week and I made an appointment for him too.
An hour later, the ten year old skips down the stairs bright as a button and announces he’s "starving" and savaged a stack of pancakes. I couldn’t believe the change in him and even though he still had a temperature I considered canceling the doctor’s appointment.
The next morning, at my older son's appointment the doctor examined his rash and announced it was shingles. I was stunned. “But shingles is for old people.,” I said. Apart from the rash he was not affected by it but was told to avoid grandparents for a while.
The ten year old’s appointment was in the afternoon. He no longer had any outward signs of illness.  I was almost embarrassed to take him. However, the continual high temperature, his red eyes and the suddenness illness the day before was enough: the doctor looked at me and said with raised eyebrows , “I think it is the H1N1 Virus.” I looked at her puzzled. A vague recognition flickered in my memory.
“Are you telling me he has Swine Flu?” I said.
“Ah, Mammy you are after saying it now!” clucked the doctor.
A spasm of horror passed over my son’s face and he burst into tears. “I’m going to die!” he bawled. “Ah, now stop that!” said the doctor. “You’re the fifth patient I’ve had today with Swine Flu. If you were going to die, then half of my practice would be dead.”
There was no consoling him.   I led him howling from the clinic. In the car he said, “I told you not to take me to the doctor, I only had a headache! I’m going to die now.”
I rolled my eyes to heaven and said, “You’re not going to die.” I had to pull the car in several times on the way home to comfort my hysterical boy.
“Are you worried I’m going to die?” he asked.
"No."
“So you don’t care about me?”
“I do care about you but you are not going to die.”
“What will you do when I die?”
“I will be sad but you are not going to die.”
We arrive back home and as I pulled into the driveway we could see the two older boys wrestling in the front room. My son looked at me with blood shot eyes and said, “Please don’t tell them.” I agreed not to say anything but said he should go straight to his room and avoid contact. As soon as I opened the front door, he shot upstairs.
I airily announced to the boys that their brother had a cold and they should keep away unless they wanted to catch it themselves. The brothers shrugged their shoulders and resumed mauling each other.
At 7.30 pm Manchester United were playing some Russian team. The ten year old, a big Man United fan desperately wanted to watch but couldn’t share the same air space as his brothers. Not being able to keep up the deceit any longer, he whispered, “I think we should tell them.” I agreed.
While he hid behind a chair, I summoned his brothers into the kitchen. They came in reluctantly, impatient at being torn away from the match. I said, “Your brother wants you to know what is really wrong with him, he has Swine Flu.” They froze in their tracks and stared at their younger brother in open horror. Younger brother cringed and shrank further behind the chair. The 15 year old looked at me and said, “Aren’t you worried?” I told him that I wasn’t even though I would be the one most likely to catch it since I was in constant contact with him. He looked at me and then at his cowering brother and back again. He asked what was for dinner and left the room.
The ten year old couldn’t believe his luck. He thought he would be as welcome as mud. I pulled a chair into the hall, wrapped my sick little man in his Man United blanket, put a woolly hat on his head, a hot water bottle in his lap and that’s where he watched the match.
The following day, after a great night’s sleep he got very bold and became skittish as a kitten as he taunted his brothers with his disease. Wherever he went, they immediately left the room and moaned to me. I got very ratty trying to separate them and eventually gave up. If one is sick, they might as well be all sick.
I thought disclosure would be the best policy and rang Granny who took off like a bat out of hell to the chemist and stocked up on Rubex Vitamin C tablets, oranges, lemons and honey.
My childminder’s children were delighted and hoped to catch it by Sunday.
My parents were well impressed with the array of illnesses in our house but were happy to avoid us for the next week or so.
I also rang my sister in law who is a doctor. I couldn’t understand how my son had Swine Flu when he had so few symptoms. She told me she gets on average ten cases of flu a day and although some cases are very bad,  people die from flu in one form or another every year. The media have everybody terrified and made it a taboo illness. Having said that, she told me we were lucky and got off lightly.

Amen to that.